Hal takblin 7asaballah.. baghlan??? :)

You 're watching a classic on TV and suddenly you are sitting on your old living room with your parents and the rest of your family and your mum is preparing dinner in the kitchen and you 're playing with your toys with your brother trying to memorize every word of the songs and your father is reading the paper and watching and laughing in the same time..
A7la ayam el3omr... I love my parents GRS and I love my childhood memories..God bless those innocent and lovely days..

Mama..

 

Every single minute that passed from Ramadan so far has been the hardest for me as it is my first since Mum's death.. i think i say : Allah yer7amik ya mama like a thousand time per day inside my head.. and in my head, i feel content for God's Almighty's fate and accepting her death..
in my heart i feel complete lost and helpless and like a little kid in dire need of the little simple things of Ramadan I used to do with and for my mum..and I miss her home and our gathering over one meal and I miss her meat balls she used to do for my kids and I miss her move in her house back and forth getting all she has in her fridge to my husband and i miss her urging me to bear with my kids as this is the years of tire as she used to put it..
I cry when folding the cloths and remembering her telling me how bad I am in folding them ..and I feel amazed on remembering how strong and on her feet she was, till her last breath..
I feel so proud of an exceptional, bright minded mum, God had gifted me with..I feel grateful seeing how my best friend still cries over her and urge me that we both go visit her after the feast ISA .. and I pray, hoping I did all that i could taking care of her till her last day..
I smile, hoping to be united with her and dad in paradise ISA and I wish to be able to finish reading the Holy Quran one more time in the last 10 days for her soul.. pray for me that I may ISA..
YARAB tkony radia 3any ya omy..

The Real Me..

Every one of us has two faces..or more..sa7 keda?? Or is it only me??

To my family.. I am hyper..crazy lunatic..nervous and complaining..

To my husband: kind, nervous bardo J , childish, passionate and too loud..

To my friends, great listener, great advisor, great company, great cook and crazy bardo J

To my kids..best mum ever, worst mum ever, playful, firm, childish and nagging and akid akid, crazy..

To my boss:  hard worker, talented, loud, stubborn and very very rash..

To my self ba2a…

Ana min fi kol dol??? I know I am not selfish , I am not shallow, I am not materialistic..

but boy…!!

 Iam too sensitive, too weeping, too deep in thoughts..

To my self, I am a dreamer, a book worm , a woman with a heart of a child, to my self, I am caring , much too caring, I am silent and I am quiet..

And to my self.. I enjoy reading more than anything in this world, the sea, the sofa, the wise quotas, romantic  feelings, motivational poems,  cats and dogs, fashionable ladies, good meals, cozy restaurants and friends’ gatherings..

Mab7besh 7ad yklmny after 10 pm.. I love the 2 hours I sit alone after every one is asleep..appreciate it awyyyy.. appreciate the Shhhhhhh..

I love to write more than the phone calls, I love the e-mails more than the meetings, I love the workshop going on in my mind 24/7..

To my self.. I am a woman who mourns her mum and dad and thinks of them every single day, who still have all her sleep dreams going in her grandma’s house, whom you can win her heart with a kind word or gesture..who enjoys a lovely song specially from school days, who gets happy if she can get a food can without messing the whole cupboard..who loves to write and wishes to be some one one day ( famous blogger w keda), who jumps out of joy if someone shared her status on facebook , who wishes to die w Rabna rady 3anha..

Crazy and wise, loud and quiet, nagging and caring..dreamy and emotional.. sensitive and simple..thats me..

Wouldn’t I just love it when people get to know the real me? Or more..wouldn’t I just love it if I make my husband think I am talented, family that I am caring, friends, that I am quiet and boss that I am …teftker ely teftkro..mesh mohim di..

I am 38, I wish to be more wise,, more smiling..more happy..less sensitive.. less emotional , and less rash..and much much much more closer to God Almighty..

I wish to be more in peace of mind, more organized and less spendthrift! 

I wish to be my kids best friend more than anything..

I wish to grow old with my husband..

I wish to leave a good memory after I die..

I will always be a child.. nothing made me grow from inside not even mum’s passing away..

I will always be caring.. nothing made me cold, not even being shocked by closed ones..

And I will always be a crazy lunatic or then, I wouldn’t be me.. the real me..