Mama..

 

Every single minute that passed from Ramadan so far has been the hardest for me as it is my first since Mum's death.. i think i say : Allah yer7amik ya mama like a thousand time per day inside my head.. and in my head, i feel content for God's Almighty's fate and accepting her death..
in my heart i feel complete lost and helpless and like a little kid in dire need of the little simple things of Ramadan I used to do with and for my mum..and I miss her home and our gathering over one meal and I miss her meat balls she used to do for my kids and I miss her move in her house back and forth getting all she has in her fridge to my husband and i miss her urging me to bear with my kids as this is the years of tire as she used to put it..
I cry when folding the cloths and remembering her telling me how bad I am in folding them ..and I feel amazed on remembering how strong and on her feet she was, till her last breath..
I feel so proud of an exceptional, bright minded mum, God had gifted me with..I feel grateful seeing how my best friend still cries over her and urge me that we both go visit her after the feast ISA .. and I pray, hoping I did all that i could taking care of her till her last day..
I smile, hoping to be united with her and dad in paradise ISA and I wish to be able to finish reading the Holy Quran one more time in the last 10 days for her soul.. pray for me that I may ISA..
YARAB tkony radia 3any ya omy..